5 Questions you Should not Ask Tall People


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5. Are you a ladder?

The short answer is no. Ladders typically need two or more rungs to be officially considered a ladder. Tall people only have one, located between the spleen and liver. It is used as extra support for their lengthy frames which are prone to sudden bouts of tumbling over. These are very fragile appendages and should never be climbed. Last year over a thousand tall people were admitted to hospital for rung-related injuries.

4. What’s God like?

Although tall people spend much of their time in the heavens, they lack the appropriate faculties for communication with a higher power, just like any other human. That’s why God uses Metatron. The one exception is Jesus Christ himself who stood 6’8 ” tall. Of course, he was actually, sort of, God, in a way, so he was really being spoken to by, himself? In all truth, despite the language barrier, God really doesn’t like talking to anyone – he’s the world’s biggest introvert. And can you blame him/her? We are kind of jerks.

It doesn’t matter if you’re tall or not, you do not know what God is like.

3. How many birds do you eat?

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The average tall person consumes seven hundred and thirty four birds a year. It is a consequence of sharing air-space with so many high flying critters. But keep in mind, tall people are very sensitive about this, except of course for the Chinese tall Community who traditionally sing a song before breakfast about how many beaks they are about to consume.

Show a little sensitivity. If you want to know how many birds a tall person eats try an indirect route. Ask them what they had for lunch. Tell them you love quail and see how they respond. After all, you don’t want to incur the wrath of a giant, do you?

2. What’s wrong with you?

Many things. Tall people are susceptible to a host of diseases that the average human being never has to consider. Footrot is common, longjohnitis is rampant, and vertigo is basically endemic. They also suffer from severely diminished social skills, a vestige of their giant ancestry. And on top of all that, let’s face it, they are simply creepier than most people. How many times have you been caught in an enclosed space with a tall person and desperately hoped they would leave as soon as possible?

But have a little pitty for your inferiors. There’s no need to bring attention to their plight. They’re well aware of how grotesque they are. Do the right thing: tell them how normal they are. sometimes lying is the nicest thing you can do for a person.

1. What do clouds smell like?

Water. Everyone knows that.

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